Hi Friends, Donna here! Katie, my pen pal from prison, sent me another piece I would like to share with you. If you recall from my introductory blogs, Katie was adopted by her grandmother. Her Dad had been adopted by her grandmother first, then through some pretty miraculous circumstances, Katie was then adopted. Katie’s biological Dad was still in her life…at a great distance! He was in the military so he did not see her often. This is a compilation of the letters she wrote to him over the years. Now, here’s Katie’s letter…
Dear Daddy,
I am 5 years old now. I am doing well in school. I really like books. I know you couldn’t take care of me, but sometimes I wish you weren’t so far away. Maybe I’ll see you for my Birthday next year. I hope you’re doing good. I love you.
Love, Katie
Dear Dad,
Middle school is o.k. I’m enjoying sports. I’d really like it if you could one day make one of my games. My friends ask about you and I have to tell them I don’t know you well at all. I hear the weather is nice where you are. Oh, and thanks for the Christmas present you sent. Wish you were here. Love you.
Love, Katie
Dad,
Hey, I’m officially a high school graduate. I wish you coulda been there. You are missing so much you know. I guess you’re just a really busy guy. Hope to hear from you soon. Love ya,
love, Katie
Dear Peter,
Not that it makes a difference to you, but you’re a grandpa. It’s a shame that neither my kids nor I know you. I pray my kids never feel the same rejection that you bestowed on me. I wish you the best. You’re never there for me, I have to get over it. I’m done. I wish I’d mattered to you while you created your”real” family. You never loved me. I have to make myself ‘not’ love you.
-Katie
To: Dad/Peter
Subject: Hello
I can’t believe you came to my wedding. I won’t lie, it felt like I was dancing with a stranger. You look like me. You walk like me. You remain a mystery to me. I appreciate this new effort but I can’t let my guard down. You hurt me too much. i hope you continue to reach out now. You’re the parent. I hope you won’t ghost me again. Thanks for coming. Take care.
-Katie
To Dad
(In an imessage) I know you had high expectations during your week in town. I’m sorry I stood you up so many times. Truth is, I have to use all the time or I’ll be sick. I can’t let you see that. The other truth is, I can’t look you in the eye after my family just buried the man who raised me. I couldn’t see you while you were local because I’ve become a monster. Crazy how I spent all those years begging you to recognize me as your kid and now I couldn’t bring myself to see you. Not that you knew me back then, but now you wouldn’t even recognize me. So, I’m sorry I didn’t show up. If you’ve taught me anything at all, it was how to not show up. I’ve spent years trying not to, but deep down I still love you and need you. Have a safe flight back.
-Katie
Dad,
I’m sure you’ve heard the news. It all caught up with me. Your daughter the inmate. Are you surprised? Do you feel guilty? Don’t. You were never there but I still knew right from wrong. It’s a shame I carry, that it came to this. I used to want to make you proud, to notice me. I got your attention now, didn’t I? But it’s never too late. I need all the support I can get. I can’t help but hope somehow this will lead you to me. I wish I had a dad to lean on. It’s hard in here, but I forgive you, for everything. It’s in the past. I’ll wait forever hoping for the day you reach for me. Hey, all I have is time. I forgive you and I forgive me, so that even imprisoned, I may be free. You know how to reach me. In my own way, I have love for you. Don’t forget about me.
With love, Katie
“Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!”
Matthew 18:21
Donna here again. It’s so sad that the people who have the most impact on our lives, our parents, often take that responsibility so lightly. Katie’s letters should be a wake up call to all of us as parents, we will always be needed in our children’s lives. Not in the same ways as they get older, but always needed! There is still a chance for Katie to get to know her father. Say a prayer for her. Hey, call your kid’s today! I just texted mine!
Leave a Reply