Stop Look and Listen

Psalm 112:7
They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. New International Version (NIV)

It has been over sixty years ago that my Kindergarten teacher taught me that little axiom ‘stop look and listen’. It still serves me well! I can remember practicing those words with my class mates until I felt like I would not be able to think of anything else. Those words were also taught to my sons by their teachers, and then reinforced at home by me and their Dad. ‘Can’t be too careful’ I would tell them.

But sometimes bad things still happen to good people. About twenty years ago I remember waking up to the very bad news that a young child I knew was hit by a car. She was running to catch her brother who ran for the school bus,. She did not stop to look, nor did the car coming down the street. She did not even live till the ambulance was able to get there. What a heartbreak for her family, and everyone who knew this sweet bubbly child. I have gone to way too many of this type of funeral. Yet, only God knows the why.

A child’s death is the most difficult, and takes the longest to recover from. Still, people do recover and are not defined by that one event in their lives. It does take a will to want do so, and not stay stuck in that rut of ‘poor me’ syndrome. I have not lost a child of my own. I have been close to several that have been taken way too soon. Just one is too many, but I believe the way we respond to those who have had the loss, helps the road to recovery be a little shorter, and less painful. As we respond to them walking through this valley we can remember these thoughts. Stop Look and Listen come in handy for them, and us.

First STOP! Give people time to respond in the conversation. They may need time to reflect, and even gather their thoughts. Thay may not even be able to express their feelings, or their needs right now. Don’t allow the silence be uncomfortable and you need to fill the space. Allow them space to reflect.

Next, LOOK. At them I mean. Pay attention to their facial expressions, body language and signs of anxiety, fidgeting or discomfort at the conversation. You may need to ask them if they are uncomfortable with this conversation, and be prepared to talk about something else. There discomfort will not make anything better.

Finally, LISTEN! The Holy Spirit is faithful! Ask Him for the right words, then listen. He will speak in ‘a still small voice’. Also, listen to what your friend is saying. Don’t turn it around to what you think they mean but take their word for it. This is what they really mean! The Mom of my seven year old student that died in a car accident confided in me that thei worst fear was that she would be forgotten. When you are thinking of the person, tell their loved one. It makes the day go better knowing their loved one has been on your mind.

This verse in Psalms reminds us, we have no need to fear of bad news, if our hearts and minds are focused on Him, our future is in His hands.

Question: How can you help others when they have received bad news? How can you bear the news if it was you?