- Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.
Here is the conclusion of Katie’s story, and her fourth child. Yet, it is not really the conclusion of either of them! Katie lives for Jesus now, even though she is imprisoned physically, her soul and spirit are free and forgiven. Her baby lives an eternal live in Heaven, waiting for Mom to get there to give a big hug!
Now, here’s Katie.
I went through the motions. I tuned out the explanations of how they kill and remove the baby. I answered their questions. Yes, I’m sure. No, no one’s forcing me to do this. Again, yes, I’m sure. Then…it was done. I had to be put to sleep due to how far along I was. I came to about an hour later with an empty womb, and an equally empty soul. I was driven home where I promptly turned to my needles and pipes. That baby would be three now. I am so disgusted. I think only two people knew at the time.
A few weeks ago Pastor David Jeremiah was on T.V. His sermon was on children and the Kingdom of Heaven. He touched on Jesus instructing us to have child-like faith, and Jesus love for children. Then he spoke about kids in Heaven and the age of accountability. He said there’s no doubt in his mind that all children under a certain age level of understanding will sit at the feet of Jesus when they leave this earth. And then he said this goes for us ladies who have experienced miscarriages and even abortions. That those of us who’ve experienced abortions, we can be forgiven and that our unborn live peacefully in the arms of the Father. I’ve known all this deep down, but it’s good for me to actually hear it because until the day I die, I have to live with it. I can only pray that I start to feel more forgiven as the years go by.
I could fill pages of my regrets. Those regarding my children will fill the majority of them. I don’t know whats worse, neglecting my living children by choosing drugs, or killing my unborn. They’re equal, huh? So, there it is, one of the hidden chapters in my otherwise open book. A chapter I hope to give a happier ending to. In the meantime I pray for my girls and I am thankful they’re safely cared for in my absence. To anyone walking this path: There’s always help. I wish I had chosen it. You think you are solving a problem, but really this pain will only set you back. It’s devastatingly haunting. To anyone whose already walked this path; We’re forgiven. There’s grace enough for us. And, our babies are o.k.
Maybe I’ll tell my daughters about this someday. I guess it’ll depend on if I feel they could learn something from it. In the meantime, I appreciate them and treasure them all the more.
Since Katie bared her soul with her deepest, most painful secret, let me ask you, are you feeling the pain of unforgiveness? There is nothing God will not forgive. If you need to talk, please reach out to someone near you, or even reply to this blog below all the blogs. I will not publish your comment, but I will pray for you and contact you if that’s what you choose. Please don’t suffer in silence!
Here is a Ministry I am involved with that helps to heal the ‘abortion wounded heart’. Check it out
www.DeeperStill.org
A Spring Retreat is being planned now, and there is room for you! Call Andie Lantzy 570-862-8058.
She has been where you may be now. She found forgiveness and healing to wholeness through a DeeperStill Retreat.
“There is no pit so deep that God’s Love is not DeeperStill” Corrie ten Boom
And if you are not post-abortive and have a heart for someone who has had an abortion, there is room for you to serve in DeeperStill. Right now we are looking for people with the following skill sets;
Newsletter writer and production
A cook for Retreats
Contact List Keeper and Maintainer as the list grows.
donna_liples@yahoo.com write to me if you are interested or have questions.
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