A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. NIV
Over the many years I have been in teaching or leadership roles (since I was 16, I’m now 67) I have seen a variety of situations where an angry voice stirs up and spills out. The one angered did not get their way, and they respond prematurely, and immaturely. There have even been times when I have been the angry voice!
I have also had the opportunity and privilege of being the leader in a multitude of those situations. From children’s teacher, youth leader, women’s Bible study and so on. I was the director of skit’s and plays and the Social Services Coordinator at a housing project. You just cannot work with people in those capacities without having a conflict or two, or three! Not to mention, living in a marriage for 47 years, and raising two sons. I have had some conflict resolution experience!
I experienced something that I had to handle recently that you might find helpful in your personal interactions. I expect as we get closer to the presidential election, this may happen more frequently. I was facilitating a ‘self-help’ group and one of our guests began a rant with yelling and anger about a variety of topics, including the devastating experience in her family, the political climate and even an ex husband. While the rest of the group remained calm and quiet, I knew I needed to address this, quickly so it would not be perceived that it was acceptable to continue that behavior in this group.
What do you do in a situation like this? We have all been there. Sometimes it is the result of a correction we need to make, maybe it’s a hurt they feel, either perceived or real. Maybe it’s just someone who does not have self control and just likes to rant. What should be our response?
Good old Solomon had some conflict…and some solutions. In his inspired wisdom he said; ‘A soft answer turns away wrath.’ It works so well! First I listened to everything she wanted to say. When she stopped the rest of the group had their eyes on me…waiting for a response. I recognized her concerns then quietly reminded her of the truth in the circumstances she finds herself. Then I quietly reminded her that God is in control, He expects us to be as well.
It was a ‘soft touch’ that calmed the situation right down! Any escalation after a quiet response looks, and makes you look ridiculous. No one likes to fight when there is no one to fight back.
If any of you reading this still has a short fuse, and you like to spout out all your trash on the unsuspecting world, please rethink your responses. It is possible to train yourself to think before you speak. When you think first, your speech is transformed into palatable conversation.
If you find someone still does not get the hint…walk away!
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